How I Celebrated My Birthday…And Lived to Tell About It!
So I did a little something crazy for the 40th birthday…
I didn’t just do this for the thrill of it or cross something off my bucket list though. I wanted to do something that would be meaningful to me, and would symbolize what I want my 40s to look like. My 30s were filled with so much change in my life – having 3 kids, moving into a “grown-up” house, having autism and everything that comes with it enter our lives – that really shifted everything and completely transformed who I am and what I am about. Jumping out of an airplane into the crazy abyss of free-fall encompasses that perfectly for me. Hopefully, the peace and quiet and serenity that follows once the parachute opens will be a fitting symbol for the next decade.
Please don’t be mistaken – I’m in no way expecting my life to suddenly become calm or easy. This is about how I am changing, not my circumstances. I am trying to find a calm in the midst of chaos, and a place of peace in myself and my life. I want to take time to be grateful for all of the gifts in my life and beauty in my world – I have so much to be thankful for. I want to learn how I am supposed to use the gifts that I’ve been given, and how I can give back to others. I want to better understand my purpose. I want to be less judgmental, kinder, and more understanding and accepting. I want to be a better person and wife and friend and mother. I want to be happy and to bring happiness to others.
All of this does not come easily, and maybe it isn’t supposed to. It takes effort, and patience, and forgiveness. It is a daily practice (and I believe it is called practice for a reason). It is difficult to let go of control and be accepting of what is. And sometimes we need to go through turbulence to get to – and appreciate – a place a peace.
A friend commented that I was awesome but insane. I like that comment because that is how I see my life – awesome but insane. And I love it.