People. They Don’t Actually Suck…That Badly
What is it about this idea of “people” that most of us cannot stand? They’re always in a rush? They forgot their manners? So, what about loving the people around us? How can we do that more effectively and what can we gain from it?
So, giving someone the benefit of the doubt … seems simple, but the next time you are in a car and someone is speeding behind you, maybe there is a reason. There could be an emergency, someone they love could be in danger or dying at a hospital. More then likely, they could be rushing for no good reason, but that is indicative of not being at peace with one’s self anyway. This is a time to utilize empathy. Don’t let someone’s unease become your unease. That is where you can gain and learn from this lesson and as common as this is, you can get a lot of practice. Now, I’m not saying to speed with them but if you let them pass or just utilize patience these are all things you can then use in many other aspects of your life. Once, I was being the speed demon with no manners, and for no good reason other than I was late. As I passed a guy, he held a calm demeanor and just gave the “hang loose” hand gesture, you know the one where your pinky and thumb are out ad you wobble your wrist back and forth. This really changed how I feel when I am in a rush.
The person that you barely know who talks your ear off. Oh boy, maybe I will turn to the Dalai Lama for this, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” ‘His Holiness’ is totally on to something. Sure, much of what you hear could be a self-indulgent rant about how much they like subject A and how it pumps up their ego, but people like this also usually know a lot about a topic. Maybe try to ask the “right” questions to guide the conversation to an equal ground. Even if the person is not receptive to changing the conversation to not revolve around them, it does not mean every one who talks a lot is like this. So, judge not, because if you listen you can learn many new things, or if you are not learning from it, maybe that person feels so low about them self that they just want someone who will listen and that is a greater lesson still. Or maybe they are just absurdly awkward, not unlike myself.
So, here is one that can make or break relationships, our friends and family with strong opinions or beliefs. This can be especially troublesome when their opinions are strong, and and clash with what you believe. So, what lessons can be learned here? Well once more, patience and open-mindedness are key. Listening without criticism, and trying to keep in mind that if it gets brought up regularly it usually means the person believes that is what is best and want to make sure you are caring for yourself in the best way possible. Now, another lesson is to know when it is out of love and when it becomes a lecture. So know yourself, your limits and if you are giving the other person an open-mind and love make sure you are giving yourself the same and know when to say it is too much. Both keeping an open mind/heart and allowing yourself to change the topic can spare a lot of grief and relationships.
These are just some ideas that I have. Around every corner is a lesson. I have found the best way, for me, to really grow, is through the help of other people. We just have to be aware of the world around us to observe and then the most important part is through introspection. At the end of the day how did I act? How did I react? What can I learn? And then take it from there.