“Please wait for me.”
This week in class I danced with an individual that made me unsure of what I was doing and made me question if I was screwing everything up. I felt like our connection…well, it just didn’t exist. We were two people awkwardly barely touching one another and trying to move but miserably failing.
Picture the prom scene in “Napoleon Dynamite”. That’s how it looked almost and it felt terrible.
When I led, my partner was leaning away from me. I felt like they were afraid of me or did not want to dance with me. This quickly planted seeds of frustration for both of us as it made it difficult to learn what we were being taught in class. I talked with L. about this and what I could do to make it better and she recommended kindly saying, “Please wait for me.” Because someone is leaning back, their steps are more rushed due to the fact that their body is literally falling back. So by asking them to wait for you, their body will listen more carefully to yours. Their posture will be more likely to have some of that forward intention that connects themselves to you.
This is also one of those little life lessons that I’ve learned from tango. Why is waiting so damn hard sometimes?! There’s no rush. I can slow down. I’m safe!
If you find yourself in a similar situation when you’re dancing tango, it’s ok to feel frustrated. Just know that you don’t have to and that you can verbally communicate to help both of you have a good time dancing with one another. Or you can always say ‘thank you’ and take a break or dance with someone new!