So Jenn, How’d that 30 day meditation challenge work out for ya?

At the end of September I wrote a blog about doing a Loving Kindness Meditation in a yoga class.  I stated at the end of that blog that I was going to do a 30 day meditation challenge and write about what happened.  Since it has been well over 30 days I felt it was time for the update.  I should mention at the onset that I did not complete thirty days in a row of meditation.  I had the best of intentions when I started and yet it did not work out.  I can make up a million reasons why this may have happened but the simple fact is that I did not make time each and every day to meditate.  I practice yoga several times a week and that is a moving mediation.  I was trying to challenge myself to sit in mediation. So I didn’t count all of the yoga practices I did in this time.

I made notes after each meditation I did about how I felt afterwards and what I thought of the meditation in general.  I mostly did guided mediations.  I started by looking up meditations on you tube.  Some of these were okay.  I found that sometimes I couldn’t connect with what the guided voice was saying.  They used terms that made no sense to me.  One particular mediation I did the woman was saying that I was a vortex and I was in the vortex.  I can’t figure that statement out.  Another one was a male British voice who proclaimed “I am the blood of stars”….What? Seriously, if you can explain that to me I will be forever grateful.  Statement like that took me out of the meditation even if just for a moment.  I eventually moved off of you tube and started using the UCLA website.  They have a series of podcasts from the Mindful Awareness Research Center.  These mediations were amazing!  The woman who led them was Diana Winston and I would encourage anyone looking for guided meditations to try these out.  She uses language that is relatable.  She spoke of inner goodness and authenticity.  I also did one about Loving Kindness. I wrote in my notes after each one of these that I understand where she is coming from.  I was able to focus on my breath and felt deeply connected.

A few of the mediations I did were 30 minutes and had sections of silence in them.  I have always been slightly skittish about silent meditation.  I have done it before but very sporadically and only for short periods of time.  This time I couldn’t believe how lovely it was!  I felt so relaxed afterwards and was able to go deeper into myself than I had with the guided mediations.  Last week in a yoga class we sat in silent mediation for ten minutes.  I swear it felt like 5 minutes.  I am not sure what I would feel about doing 20 or even 30 minutes of silent mediation.  The thought makes me a little anxious.  I wonder why that is?  Am I afraid of what would surface? Am I afraid I couldn’t sit still that long? Yes to both of these.  It is quite possible that I may never get to the point of thirty minute silent mediation.  But I would love to try harder to make time to mediate at least a few minutes a day.  I think it would be beneficial to me in so many ways.

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