Time and Time
Time escapes, it alludes, it runs out; time is eternal or so we are told. Time seems to be very definable and yet our understanding of it varies so greatly in ourselves yet alone from person to person. Time is: a fabric, a concept, a sense, a rhythm, quantifiable, time is something we try to make tangible, yet it is impossible to do so.
Time-space, the most scientific and “logical” way to imagine time. I do not know how much we can even fully grasp it with hypothesis, equations and theories. I can understand it and try to imagine it based off of all of those measurements, but I can’t help but feel it is truly like trying to imagine a new color. I read something once that made a lot of sense to me, time-space is the 4th dimension, as creatures in a 3 dimensional realm, it is impossible for us to have any real context to it. Like an apple moving across a 2 dimensional plane, it would be perceived as a line that gets longer as we approach the middle of the apple and shrink back down as it reached it’s top. This could even be understood on a mathematical level, but the realization of the event would still have to be conceptual since the apple cannot be seen all at once.
So, the idea of time that we carry with ourselves everyday, like the clocks on our walls and deadlines are all ways we can “measure” time, like the way to measure the line made by our proverbial apple passing through our plane. If we didn’t originally measure it by ticks and tocks, then how did we even start? To quote Alan Burdick,
“If we perceive time’s passage, it is because we perceive change, and for us to perceive change the time must be somehow filled; an empty duration alone won’t stimulate our awareness.”
We age, the sun rises and the sun sets, we have cycles of menstruation and sleep.
Personally, I don’t even know what day it is sometimes. I know the places I worked that day and what that means for my following day. I keep a calendar for this reason. The more I do, the more I personally lose time. I lose track of it, 24 hours in a day does not feel like enough. I am moving and doing until I sleep, wake up and fill my day again. It seems to me like I never feel time, the only chance I experience it is when I am still. I feel time in the span of a breath, as if my whole life force, my prana can vibrate with time in stillness. My understanding of time is that, I can only understand it now. Right now. That means to live the best that I can in every moment. For that is all we have, now, in this instant.