What happens when you don’t practice for awhile? Things get AWKWARD.
Let me start out by saying that I love yoga. It is one of the most important things I do for myself. My practice means a great deal to me. I connect with yoga in a deep way and it has helped me so much. I have written it before and I will write it again. But lately, I am so out of sorts on my mat. I haven’t been able to connect to my practice in the same way. It is strange because I should be connecting more. I am doing teacher training and reading so much about yoga through that and my internship. I am going to a varied array of classes at two studios and love all of them. I just feel like I am outside of my practice looking in.
This morning I went to class and every single pose was a struggle. I felt like my alignment was all over the place and I was even having trouble in tree pose. Tree pose is my pose. I love tree pose. I sometimes get sad when we are asked to move onto another pose. But today I was wavering all over the place. I wasn’t distracted. I was happy to be there. It was a lovely class but I just felt so messy. At one point I started to breath out of sync and was afraid I would hyperventilate. That didn’t happen. But that is something that hasn’t happened to me in yoga for a very long time. Perhaps it was the heat (there was a bunch of people and it was 87 degrees). Perhaps it was all the vegan chocolate chip cookies I ate on Christmas. But I am used to the heat and I can’t blame everything on cookies. Honestly, I shouldn’t assert blame on anything or even myself. I am just in a yoga funk. There are going to be more days like this I am sure. Just as I am sure that there are going to be many more days when I never want to get off my mat. But today was not one of those days. Today was messy, and awkward and blah.
Maybe it’s simply because I haven’t been going to classes so much the past few weeks. Sangha Space (as you know) is closed till the New Year. I am on a break from teacher training for the holidays and missed a week of yoga class opportunities because of a bad cold earlier in the month. Holiday schedules have left me less time. That will change after this week and I hope that is all that it takes to get me back into the downward dog of things (okay that was a really bad joke…see I’m off my game 😉