How is it that attachment can be so binding? We have this amazing ability to invest such strong emotions into such materialistic things. And when we lose these things…stuffed animals, jewelry, expensive technology/equipment/gifts…
sometimes anger is a surpassed emotion. It’s as if our very soul is so
sad that it drains all other logic and feeling from our comprehension.
I’m moving through the motions and I don’t know how. I’m afraid that if I say that the objects are really gone, that I no longer have them, that I will lose the stories they have created. That maybe I will no longer hold onto the memories I have because of them. That thought is like a tight grip right around my heart. It’s the choking cry I try not to emit. It’s every tear I’m not ready to let fall.
I just don’t want to lose hope that somehow, someway, the universe will miraculously return what is lost.
I’m not ready.
Don’t ask me to accept the probability. Not yet.
What’s missing has just got to be here somewhere.
But tango has been the most soothing comfort and solace I have found in the midst of this loss. There’s just something to be said about being held while you are so sad… which has been just the right amount of healing for each moment.
Little life lesson: “It is only things that adorn our life but have no deeper meaning! You are safe and beautiful. That is all that matters.”