“You have to be ok if I leave.”
My mom is the best mother in the whole wide world. I do not exaggerate. She’s kind of flippin’ awesome. And one of the many life lessons she has taught me is that I do not NEED a man to be happy in life. Which has proved really [frustratingly] helpful throughout high school especially when everyone seems to have a significant other. It’s taught me a very valuable confidence in who I am and who I want to be and what I want to do. And ya know, she was a pretty smart lady to teach me that when she did because it really was helpful throughout college too.
And for tango, the romantic relationship is the most relate-able analogy. The tango, like a healthy relationship can be, is not a codependent relationship. Nor is it an independant relationship. I have to be grounded enough to be ok if my guy has to leave. Being “ok” does not mean emotionally hunky-dory while frolicking in a field picking roses. Hell no. I can be sad and upset and hurt but I know that I’ll be ok. That I really am ok in the moment. I’m just going to experience these tender emotions, if that’s alright with you. In tango, you have to be able to stand on your own. If your partner steps away from the embrace, you can’t collapse and fall down. You have to be able to stand there. Firmly grounded. Ok to be on your own.
Tango is not a codependent relationship. Not an independent relationship. It’s an inter-dependent relationship. I have to be grounded enough to be ok if my partner were to leave. In any relationship. And sometimes it’s the friendships that crumble, that break, that become toxic that hurt the most and it’s ok to be sad. But I can’t sit down in that sadness. Because there is a step to take. And I can only take it if I’m standing. I can only keep moving if I’m standing. And it’s a beautiful thing to be held while I’m moving along, moving through every fun and not-so-fun emotion.